Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Juan Uribe: Officially Crazier than Ozzie Guillen?

Juan Uribe was involved this week in a shooting in the Dominican Republic that injured two complete strangers. Apparently, a member of the Italian Navy and a Domincan farmer approached the Jeep of Juan Uribe when shots were fired, injuring the two. Apparently the shots came from a pistol AND A SHOTGUN! Uribe's brother and his bodyguard are already under arrest and a warrant is out for Juan.

Here's my guess of what happened. Juan was driving an H2 through the no-doubt disgusting streets of some Dominican slum, constantly being harrassed by passers-by who merely wanted some money or acknowledgement of their existence when he finally snapped and began a game of Grand Theft Auto: Santo Domingo.

The real amusing thing here is whether Sox GM's Kenny Williams "vote of confidence" given to Juan Uribe's hold on the shortstop position two weeks ago still stands. I think any GM would have a hard time convincing me that a guy who had a .257 on-base-percentage is worth keeping around as the starting shortstop, particularly now that he's gone Ugueth Urbina on some poor bastards walking down the street in Big Papi's hood. I think at the very least, it's a safe bet that the White Sox won't be picking up his $5 million option for the 2008 season. Just a hunch.


At 2:00 PM, Blogger David L. Bickel said...

i mean... i still think ozzie guillen is crazier. ozzie probably would have shanked the guys with a rusty nail.

At 7:40 PM, Blogger Chubbs said...

Or ordered Jon Garland to throw at him.


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