California, Here We Come
It's early November, and we all know what that means. No, not the beginning of the of NBA season. I'm obviously referring to a new season of Fox's hit show, The OC. The first episode of season four was last night in what promises to a be a truly groundbreaking season on the show. There are a lot of changes and new faces this year following the death of Marisa and the graduation from high school that marked the end of season three. Here's a character-by-character breakdown of what happened last night, and what might happen this season.
Ryan: Ryan, or "Poor Kid" as we often call him, is really the moral compass of the show. I've been claiming all along that the writers of the OC are grooming Ryan to become the next Sandy Cohen. Basically they're the same character. Both are old-fashioned tough guys who don't mind breaking the rules to do what they think is right. Ryan, predictably has flown off the reservation following the death of Marisa, and completely cut ties with everyone in Newport, instead electing to follow the career path of his idol, Ken from Street Fighter. That's right, Poor Kid decided to do underground cage fighting instead of going to UC-Berkeley. That makes sense.
My Ryan predictions for this year: 1) He doesn't kill Volcheck like everyone thinks he will, but instead gets him arrested 2) He ends up going to college locally so he can stay with the Cohens 3) He meets some hottie at college, bangs her, then dumps her because she reminds him too much of Marisa, and 4) Gets into trouble at college for being at a party involving drugs or gets wasted, ends up in jail, and Sandy has to bail him out.
Seth/Summer: Seth, aka "Rich Kid", isn't quite as intriguing of a character as Ryan. Apparently Seth, the smart kid from the elite private school in the rich town of Newport, didn't get into any college and has now decided to start work at a comic book store in town. That makes sense. Summer, meanwhile, is out at Brown now and apparently has joined up with the hippie protestors. I enjoy this touch from the OC. The entire time it remains very clear that Summer is still a bimbo and is really only doing what other people tell her to do.
I'm not sure what to expect out of Seth/Summer this year but here goes: 1) Seth remains dejected for much of the season due to his separation from Summer, including turning down potential leads on ass 2) Summer eventually hooks up with crazy didgeridoo/stoner guy from Brown and tells Seth (do you ever notice how on these shows, when somebody cheats on their boyfriend or girlfriend, even if it's only a friggin' makeout, they spill their guts within like three days? Does this ever happen? I think not.) 3) Seth goes on a sex binge following the revelation that Summer has "moved on" 4) Summer quickly ends any kind of romantic liason with didgeridoo guy, and drops out of college. 5) Rachel Billson finally realizes how hot she is and dumps Adam Brody (whoops, that's not a prediction about the OC)
Kaitlin Cooper - Honestly, I've never been more excited for the OC. Kaitlin Cooper is a character who, as Jay Bilas would say, has great upside potential. First, she's smoking hot. Now I know that's kind of creepy given the fact that Willa Holland, the actress that plays Kaitlin Cooper is only 15. However, I think it's acceptable since both myself and every guy I know who saw her in her first episode immediately commented on how hot she was before knowing her true age. I'm saying that makes it OK. I'm not sure if that defense would hold up in court, but, whatever.
I enjoy how Kaitlin, true to her form as uber-conniving, heartless, hottie bitch, evidences no signs of emotional wear and tear following the recent death of her sister. Instead, Kaitlin has already exploited her Mom's psychological instability by blackmailing Dr. Roberts into getting her an expensive pair of shoes. God, you are so hot and bitchy Kaitlin.
My predictions for Kaitlin this year (I'm putting all chips on black here): 1) Hooks up with Volcheck 2) Hooks up with a teacher and/or a parent 3) Tries to hook up with Ryan, fails 4) Gets arrested for drugs, threatened to get kicked out of school 5) Goes on a date with me.
Alright, so there you have it folks. My big predictions for this year. I left out some other important characters, but I think this pretty much sums up the important points. I don't see much drama coming from the Sandy and Kirsten department this year after last year's marital problems and Kirsten's drinking. If they bring up Kirsten's drinking as a problem again this year, it's overkill. Really. Stop it. I'm not sure what happens with Taylor Townsend this year, although she could be involved with Seth, particularly following any revelation that Summer smoked that cheeba monkey at Brown's pole.
Finally, I'm not sure if anybody caught it, but Steve-O is going to guest star in next week's episode. Words can't really describe how fucking excited I am for this. Steve-O? On the OC? What? How many painkillers were the executives at Fox taking when they OK'd this decision? I can't even imagine what Steve-O did to that set on the day or two he was there. It probably looked something like this, actually ***caution: contains quick glimpse of Steve O's dong, not suitable for work environment***: