Laguna Beach Prom: Gnarly
The always important prom episode was last night on Laguna Beach, and I think the episode solidified the lasting images we will have of each character on the show.
First off, I officially couldn't care less about the whole Rocky and Alex thing anymore. Rocky is not good looking. At all. She might be able to turn the corner in college or somewhere down the line, but for now, I'm not having it. Plus, she is an AWFUL girlfriend. I've never seen anyone need more attention on this show. Quit pouting, demanding emotional attention, and S your boyfriend's D already. Jesus. Not like Alex is worthy of any attention either. That guy is about as exciting as a colonoscopy. Stop showing me this shit. Seriously.
I've officially turned the corner on Lexie. Granted, she is hot as shit, as this week's shots of her in a bikini on her Dad's boat (yeah, tell me that guy isn't a baller) only confirmed. However, she's that girl that after a couple of months at school no guy even makes moves at because she's such an ice queen. She SUCKS. She may be completely asexual for all I know. She has no interest in guys whatsoever. How are you not going to at least suck face with your prom date for chrissakes? You're both single. Ridiculous.
That whole prom episode just confirmed my suspicions all along that Tessa and Derek are the best characters on the show. Derek pulled the Lexie prom move in the hopes that he could finally crack the shell and catch domes from the untouchable hottie (a bold move that deserves our respect). After it's failure, he didn't tuck his tail between his legs, he hosted a rager and slam-danced with the underrated Tessa. Plus, he completely shafted the ugly bitch/only worthy of a drunk as shit makeout session Breanna (She is awful, she thinks she is SO HOT. Did you see her talking to her friends about Derek? They said to her "You always hook up with guys Breanna" and she responds, "Yeahhhh." She is in for a RUDE awakening if she goes to college. Her sister's popularity won't be able to carry her budget face anymore.)
Once again Derek, you receive a tip of the cap.
Tessa on the other hand, has become my favorite chick. Her body is pretty solid. I hadn't noticed as much until this week, but she looked kinda slammin' in that ballet outfit or whatever the fuck she was wearing. She has some under the radar bitties, too. Plus, she's clearly intimidated by dudes, but really wants to get banged out, so dudes like Derek who make low effort moves and just grab her or tell her to come over can score immediately. Awesome. I would not mind partying with that girl.
A few other points: How trashy are these proms? Really guys? You can't do normal formal wear just this once? You have to sport the unbuttoned white dress shirt? Come on. Plus, some of these girls wear absolutely WHORISH dresses. I don't think any girl at my prom would be caught dead wearing the kind of skirt length that Kyndra was sporting. I don't know, maybe I just don't get California. Actually, remove any doubt there. I definitely don't get California.
Also, who the hell is this new Jade chick that Tessa and Rocky know?! She has bombs. Jesus. I bet Derek and Cameron have both tapped that.