Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Sassy Black Grandmother

Alright, first off, I just want to say, that I don't think either Anthony or myself are quite prepared to offer any musings on the Ohio State game. Maybe a few years from now, I'll be able to step back, and analyze the game without wanting to swallow my tongue. Actually, no probably not. Let's just move on.

Anyway, I was watching You Got Served earlier today and had an epiphany. Yes, the word "epiphany" just appeared in the same sentence as a slang version of the word "served." Mainly, that the sassy, black grandmother is absolutely my favorite cliche character of all time. There really is nothing better, or more obvious to spot. In fact, Martin Lawrence has apparently made a lot of money over the past few years by capitalizing on the "sassy, black grandmother" market with the "Big Momma's House" franchise. It raises an interesting question: Are there any cranky black grandmothers? I contend that there are not. Anyway, here are my favorite characteristics of a sassy black grandmother:

1) Says "Oooooooooooooooooo child!" or "Ooooooooooooooo boy!" endlessly.

This is the official phrase of a sassy black grandmother. No other movie character is allowed to utter "Oooooooooo child!" Seriously, can you imagine a white grandmother, or even just a normal black person saying that? You can't, because it's never happened.

2) Wise

The sassy black grandmother is always willing to provide grandmotherly advice. That's her role, essentially, to dispense advice to her dumb as a brick grandson who has inevitably gotten himself into trouble. However, this advice is never delivered in a condescending tone. It's always done in a "boys will be boys" type manner.

3) Hip

The sassy black grandmother is also inevitably hip. She is always up on the latest trends in popular culture, even if it does not fit her 1940s sensibilities. This usually involves the grandmother referencing that some current R&B crooner (i.e. Usher) gets her "flustered" or "hot under the collar" or the grandmother doing her best to dance and sing along with some sexuall inappropriate jam (i.e. Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me")

4) Compares her grandson or granddaughter to another elder family member in a reverential tone

The most common example of this is the grandmother somehow explaining away some character flaw in her grandson as representative of his grandfather, thereby making it OK. For example, "That's that pride talking. You got that from your grand-daddy." This was used most effectively in You Got Served when the sassy black grandmother agrees to spot Omarion (or the other guy, whatever) 5 g's so they can enter a dance-off. Obviously Omarion knew where to turn when the chips were down. The sassy black grandmother.


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