What Happens in Cabo, Stays in Cabo
What can I say about truly a landmark episode of Laguna Beach last night? Between the Kyndra-Tyler situation, the anticipation of the Lexie-Kelan hookup, and Derek's escapades, we witnessed one of the most action-packed episodes in LB history.
First, I want to point something out. I think Derek is slowly and silently making a push to become the man in Laguna Beach. The show inevitably focuses on Cameron's sexual escapades because of the love triangle between him, Kyndra, and Tyler, but I think Derek is leading the league in crushing ass. First, he hooks up with the underrated Tessa. Then, this week, he hooks up with Breanna. I'll grant you that Breanna's face looks like a catcher's mitt, but this is all part of a larger trend. Derek is stockpiling ass. The preview for next week shows him taking Lexie to the prom. What?! Is he really about to pull the rug out from under Kelan and bang out hot, hot Lexie? Kudos to you, Derek. You receive a tip of the cap.
This whole Kelan-Lexie situation just does not make any sense to me. It's pretty clear that all Kelan needed to do that whole trip was make a move and he would've bagged that hot piece of high school ass. How does this not happen? How do you spend a week on vacation in Cabo San Lucas, drinking, and staring at Lexie in a bikini and never make a move? How is that possible? Even the biggest pussy in the world has to make a move in that situation, right? This is Maurice Clarett-esque in terms of wasted oppurtunities.
Finally, Tyler is worthless. Does he have a job? Does he go to college? Who the fuck crashes a group of high schoolers' Spring Break to spy on/hook up with his ex-girlfriend, all while his parents are with him? That being said, Kyndra is pretty stupid to have fallen for the drunken "love" card that Tyler played. I will give Tyler credit for pulling out the "break glass in case of emergency" love play in order to make sure that Kyndra would be fucking him and not Cameron on the first night of Spring Break. If it already weren't established how huge of a douche you were, that might receive a tip of the cap.
Anthony's analysis: Since college I have not put MTV on once. I don't know what any of this means. I was drinking at a bar tonight watching the wildly entertaining West Virginia - Louisville game. Totally turned me around on the Big East. Good times.