Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Brittany from "Two-A-Days": Great Reality Show Hot Chick or Greatest Reality Show Hot Chick?

I know people often overestimate recent phenomenons when trying to determine "the greatest of all-time" debates. For example, when ESPN ran that whole bullshit thing about the USC dynasty going up against National Champions of the last 15 years. Idiots like Mark May were claiming that USC would beat 1997 Michigan 49-10. Yeah, that will happen Mark. I'm sure USC would be able to put 49 points on a team with the greatest college defensive player of all-time (Charles Woodson) and one of the greatest college defenses of all time. Michigan allowed 117 points TOTAL in 1997, including 16 against a Washington State team that was led by a then great Ryan Leak. Also, remember when Isaiah Thomas said that Kobe Bryant might be better than Michael Jordan after he hit that huge shot to put the Lakers into an overtime win in Game 2 of the 2004 NBA Finals against the Pistons? You know, the one the Lakers lost in 5 games. The one where Kobe averaged 22 ppg. Yeah, I have a feeling that wouldn't happen to Jordan. Not to say Kobe isn't a great player, he is. But it was clear that one measly performance can undeservingly tilt a "greatest of all-time" debate. Then again, it was Isaiah Thomas, who somehow ended up with 4 shitty, shoot-first point guards on his team this year, who made that claim. Wow that got off topic.
Anyway, the point of this is: Brittany from "Two-A-Days" might be the hottest reality show chick ever. Sure, she's 17. Sure, it's a crime in probably every state not named Alabama (ironically) for me to sleep with her. Sure, it was just one episode. However, I've checked out her myspace page (don't judge me), and I don't think I'm jumping the gun here. I mean, she absolutely BLOWS Kristin from last season out of the water. Barring Mallory from Real World: Paris (who should be eliminated from any discussion because she's an SI model now, so it's really unfair), I really don't think it's even close. Plus SHE'S SEVEN-FREAKING-TEEN! I've already hatched plans for a road trip down to Hoover. These girls are smoking hot. Plus, once this girl realizes that she can bang out any dude she wants, and ditch her loser, soon-to-be playing defensive end at a shitty college like Southern Alabama who's due to make under 30 g's a year for the rest of his life boyfriend, she's going to be on the prowl. I pray for that girl's nether region to remain disease free in college, because she is going to be getting A LOT of sex.

I mean, she is borderline perfect. If I could get her to sign a pre-nup and somehow know that she doesn't pack on 20 pounds in college, I would ask her to marry me now. Under the girl's movie interests it says, "if I have to think really hard... I get lost!" Also under books it says, "don't read much." Does it get any better than that? Does it? I contend that it does not.

Anyway, here's the link. Have fun.


At 8:35 PM, Blogger David L. Bickel said...

so you're saying that if the girl said she wouldnt sign a pre-nup, you wouldn't marry her?

to that, i say bullshit sir.

At 9:41 PM, Blogger Mr. Intensity said...

I'm going to keep this clean. I'll just say that she is top-notch trophy wife material. At 17. BUT>..I have seen many a gorgeous lass lose her hotness between 17 and my current age of 37.

At 9:44 PM, Blogger Chubbs said...

Well I'd just bang her out for awhile until she signed it, potentially at gunpoint

At 9:57 PM, Blogger David L. Bickel said...

not to hijack this thread or anything... but where the fuck is the Fire Tommy Amaker Now blog post... i honestly think this is getting ridiculous. barring a miracle michigan is going to blow an 11 point halftime lead at home to a below average big ten team when the big ten is down this year.

At 2:24 PM, Anonymous Rach said...

Please tell me you read her friend comments.....

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