Friday, March 09, 2007

Michigan - Ohio State: Running Diary

12:03 - Steve Lavin opens things up by questioning whether these new (horribly ugly) Nike uniforms will affect Ohio State's shooting range

12:04 - Michigan obviously gets off to a roaring start with a turnover with 3 seconds left on the shot clock on their first possession

12:05 - Alright, I'll admit it (I'm looking at you here, Kuiken): Jerret Smith is a much better player than he was last year. I still contend Tommy Amaker hasn't developed a player once during his tenure.

12:07 - With 17 minutes left in the 1st half, Michigan gets its first of what I'm sure will be many shot clock violations.

12:08 - Steven Lavin on Michael Conley, "He can elevate like Batman. Trix are for kids. He's got a bag of tricks." Once again, still can't see why UCLA ever got rid of this guy.

12:12 - Michigan is down five already with 15 minutes left in the half. Ohio State's getting open looks from 3, Michigan still can't seem to figure out how to get an open look anywhere. Courtney Sims still hasn't figured out what it means to take it strong to the basket even when he's directly below the hoop. Sigh.

12:17 - Lester Abram just made a great pass to Petway for a SICK dunk. Just in case you've forgotten, Brent Petway has the Wolverine helmet cut into his hair. It's really a shame that he's a complete idiot, because his retarded personality, flair for the big play, and athleticism would be perfect for the NBA. He also has 6 rebounds already that came entirely from hustle/his ability to jump 49 inches into the air.

12:23 - Michigan down 5 still, 10:51 left in the game, and we have our first appearance from Reed Baker aka The Prophet, aka the natural.

12:24 - THE PROPHET! Right on cue drains a 3 on his first possession to bring Michigan within 2!

12:25 - The entire Holy Trinity is in the game. The Messiah - Ekpe Udoh, The Prophet - Reed Baker, and The Apostle - Deshawn Sims. This is a good sign. Also Steve Lavin just claimed the United Center has some of the best hot dogs in the Midwest. Somehow I doubt that.

12:28 - Michigan has 7 turnovers just 11 minutes into this game. The last one occurring on an in-bounds pass from under OSU's basket that went all the way to the other 3 point line, and was picked up while Deshawn Sims was standing out of bounds. Nice work, guys.

12:29 - Deshawn Sims gets a nice putback and one, drawing the foul from Oden. I agree with Anthony that Sims should be getting significantly more playing time. He might not be polished, but he at least knows what to do under the basket for chrissakes. I can't say as much for Courtney Sims or Brent Petway.

12:32 - ESPN just notified me that Michigan's win over Davidson is a key win. God dammit. Also, Michigan is down 5 with 7:40 left and neither Courtney Sims or Dion Harris has scored a point.

12:35 - Lester just drilled a 3 to put Michigan within 4. He's been playing really well today which is a good sign, but 7 turnovers and letting Ohio State shoot 53% from the field is not good.

12:39 - Dion just hit a three, he's finally made a fucking shot and Michigan's within 1 with 3 minutes left to play in the half. Michigan needs to not collapse at the end of the half like Tommy seems to enjoy doing just to toy with me.

12:41 - Michigan is playing well. Of course, they lost all momentum going into the half when Deshawn Sims missed the front end of a one and one with 17 seconds left, followed by Conley drilling a runner with 1 second left. Michigan is down 5 going into the half, which is kind of disappointing considering they're outrebounding OSU by 14 and still losing.

Some quick thoughts on OSU: Greg Oden isn't dominant. At all. He goes missing for most of the game, and frankly, Ohio State would be hurt much more in a game like this if they lost a guy like Lewis or Conley than if they lost Oden. I think Oden's a solid player, but he's not amazing just yet. You also have to hold him accountable for the fact that Michigan is outrebounding OSU by 14. Not that impressive. That being said, he's still a ridiculous prospect, and could become dominant soon. Just not yet.

Some quick thoughts on the rest of college basketball: The ACC sucks. I'm sick of the ESPN spin control on that fucking conference. They suck this year. Just admit it. UNC is good, and that's it. If ESPN weren't so in bed with the ACC they'd be talking about how Duke should probably be a bubble team right now. Losing to NC State?! They're god damn 8-9 against the RPI Top 50. That's not impressive. At all. Maryland loses to fucking Miami?! Give me a break. This is a one team conference, and about 4-5 teams that MAYBE belong in the top 25. I'd take the Big East, Big Twelve, and the Big Ten over the ACC this year, hands down. Keep in mind, this isn't some kind of anger based on a firm belief Michigan should make the tournament. Frankly, we suck. I'm just merely pointing out the ACC sucks and I'd be surprised if any team other than UNC was around after the first weekend.

1:02 - God, I hope Talib Kweli got paid a lot of money for his rapping for the Big Ten commercials, because that is easily the worst rapping from him I've ever heard.

1:05 - Jerret Smith gets a nice hustle rebound and hits Courtney under the basket for a dunk. This of course followed by Courtney getting great position but being a HUGE PUSSY and getting blocked by Oden twice. Followed by Conley getting a bucket, putting OSU up 7, and Lavin has decided to stick with his "Trix are for kids" line for Conley. I think this game is over.

1:07 - Oh good, Courtney just missed a free throw. You fucking asshole. As Erin Andrews informs us that the Michigan coaching staff wants Courtney to get more involved in this second half. Yeah, thanks guys. That plan seems to be working magically so far.

1:09 - Dion airs a 3. Now we're down 10 with 16 minutes left. The dream is dead.

1:15 - Zzzzzzz. Oh shit, OSU just hit a 3. Way to defend the perimeter guys. WHY THE HELL ARE WE PLAYING A 2-3 ZONE AGAINST THESE GUYS, TOMMY?! OSU - 45, Michigan - 33, 14:30 left.

1:16 - Lester hits a 3 to bring us back within 9 as Steve Lavin tells us that Dion is shooting 1-10 from the field. Amazing. I really will just be befuddled if Tommy Amaker is still coaching Michigan after this year. It's going to happen, but I still don't get how you can justify it in any way at this point.

1:19 - Another 3 this time for Jerret Smith, who's playing awesome. Lester, Jerret, and Petway are the only players on Michigan who shouldn't be ritualistically beaten after this game. Down 6.

1:21 - COURTNEY. YOU FUCKING PUSSY! SLAM THE BALL DOWN YOU 6'11" GIANT DILDO! Now he's complaining that his throat hurts. What a douchebag. Grow a sack. Nice 4 points.

1:23 - Just checked in on the UNC game to see that Florida State has completely fallen apart. There's a shocker. Fuck off, ACC.

1:25 - Michigan completely loses control and allows a second-chance follow-up basket followed by a fast break lay-in. Tommy calls timeout down 9 with 11 minutes left. He's an Uncle Tom. The sight of him at this point blatently repulses me.

1:28 - I will kill Steve Lavin if I have to hear another sentence like, "Long arms like branches. Branches on a tree." Yeah, that's usually where you find branches Steve, thanks.

1:32 - Technical foul on Thad Matta lets Dion get Michigan within 4 with 9 minutes and with possession. Maybe I gave up on Michigan too early. Probably not.

1:33 - Right on cue Lester misses the front end of a one and one. How many of these are we going to miss against Ohio State in key situations in a week? 32? 912?

1:34 - The refs are giving EVERY call to Oden now. I don't understand how you call a blocking foul on a defender for standing up straight and getting backed down, because that just happened on 3 straight possessions.


1:41 - Alright, so Oden is playing much better in this 2nd half. That being said, he's been the beneficiary of some chippy foul calls in this half, and I still think he's got to be blamed for the ridiculous rebounding margin favoring Michigan. I'm still not super impressed.

1:43 - Conley, who I still think is more important than Oden drains a 3, putting Ohio state up 11 with just over 5 minutes to play. There is NO WAY Michigan is coming back from this.

1:45 - Dion turns it over by getting a 5 second call. *** Sobbing into keyboard ***

1:53 - Petway facials Oden. Oden blatantly hits Petway in the face on the dunk. No call. Fuck you, Oden. Down 8 with 2:22 to go. Whatever.

1:55 - Stat of the night: Tommy Amaker - 10 seasons as head coach, 1 NCAA tournament appearance. ZERO WITH MICHIGAN. If Bill Martin doesn't fire Tommy he's just acknowledging that he only cares about the football program. Which I'm fine with. Just as long as he can admit that for me, though.

1:57 - NIT Fever: Catch it.


At 2:45 PM, Blogger Mr. Intensity said...


Dion...whaa..wha..who...whe..fuck it.

Udoh...what happened to you? You used to be good.

Petway...we will miss you.

Jerret Smith...will regress.

At 4:58 PM, Anonymous beutj said...

chris "the crocodile/big game" hunter heartily disagrees with your contention that tommy doesn't develop players.

no one else does, though.

At 8:14 PM, Blogger D said...

jerret smith sucks. i'm sorry.
his shot has as much arc on it as a shaq free throw. he's probably the morgan trent of the bball team. someone with no talent, but plays because there's not a better option.

deshawn sims is better than udoh. he should be the messiah.

also, you might want to save the nickname, The Prophet, for Copperyale "Manny" Harris. trust me.

courtney sims = <> [i hope he and dion enjoy europe]

brent petway - solid player. no offensive talent whatsoever, but always played hard.

lester abram - regressed.

dion- best SMALL game player ever.

udoh- whatever.

ronnie coleman aka the natural- where were you all year bro?

jevohn shepherd- kill yourself.

i have to get back to work...

whatever. if tommy's not fired, bill martin should be.

i'm serious about this. he's had 6 years to build this program, the last 4 with no sanctions. choke yourself with your turtleneck tommy.

At 2:58 AM, Blogger Mr. Intensity said...

WHO THE FUCK IS 'D'????? Your boy Deeeeej, Chubbs? If so, my bad. If not, fuck you, one letter man.

At 3:00 AM, Blogger Mr. Intensity said...

D is obv not ross. If it's bickel, I apologize. b/c Bickel is alright. Moving there soon, homie.

At 4:25 PM, Blogger David L. Bickel said...

yeah, kuiken... D is Bickel... don't know why that showed up as my name though...

kuiken, where you living this summer? w/ basford?

At 5:14 PM, Blogger Mr. Intensity said...

I am going to crash w/Basford for a month until I can get a Westwood sublet from a UCLA person. But...I am looking into getting my own place the whole time if I can. Thinking Santa Monica, Westwood, West LA/West Hollywood, or perhaps Venice or Marina Del Rey. We will see...preferrebly West LA or Santa Monica.

At 3:16 PM, Blogger Chubbs said...

Hey, this isn't a forum for homosexual males in the greater Los Angeles area to arrange sexual rendezvous


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