Saturday, April 28, 2007

NFL Draft Running Diary

12:15 - The Raiders draft Jamarcus Russell. A lot of people aren't really sold on him as being a franchise QB. Count me among them. I think his potential is amazing. He's athetlic, huge, and has an absolute cannon. He's also performed well against good competition throughout his career, something I can't say for a lot of QB prospects (coughBrady Quinncough). I think other than Calvin Johnson though, this is the only other guy you can take here, and the Raiders already have plenty of wideouts.

12:30 - The Lions select.... you guessed it! Frank Stallone!

No seriously, they drafted another wide receiver. Calvin Johnson. Honestly, I actually like this pick. I think Brady Quinn is garbage (and he seems to be the pick that everybody who doesn't like the Johnson pick was pulling for), and Calvin Johnson is probably the best athlete in the entire draft. I can't imagine him not becoming a great WR with his dimensions (6'5" 230 lbs) and athleticism (43 inch vert, 4.3 speed). I know it's another WR in the first round for Millen, and don't get me wrong, I do find it highly amusing, but I think you have to look at Charles Rogers and Mike Williams as sunk costs, suck it up, and realize you just upgraded from Mark Furrey to a potential franchise WR.

12:45 - Browns take Tackle Joe Thomas. Uhhh, I don't really know how to analyze this pick. The Browns suck and have an infinite number of needs it seems. QB, RB, defense, you name it. Once again, I don't like taking Brady Quinn here, but I might have looked long and hard at Adrian Peterson, who I think is going to be an amazing NFL running back, before taking Joe Thomas. Thomas is solid but struggled at times (see: Lamarr Woodley). That being said, I'm very high on building your offense around a solid offensive line, so nothing too negative I can say about this pick.

12:55 - The Buccaneers take Gaines Adams. Whatever. Solid pick. If they took Brady Quinn with Chris Simms, Jeff Garcia, Bruce Gradkowski, Vinny Testeverde, Ken O'Brien, and Y.A. Title on their roster, they'd be wasting money and talent. I haven't seen much of Gaines Adams, but what I have seen he looks extremely athletic, I'm remembering that fumble he returned for a TD last year. Solid pick.

1:05 - Arizona takes Levi Brown, a tackle out of Penn State. GREAT pick. It's extremely clear that the Cardinals need offensive line help. Edgerrin James went from averaging close to 5 yard per carry to well under 4 last year. Arizona has A LOT of talent at the skill positions (QB, RB, and WR) and they need to protect them. Really like this pick.

Also, in other news, highlights so far from the draft:
1. Brady Quinn visibly upset by not being taken thus far.
2. Keyshawn Johnson referring to his backup QB (Brett Basanez?) as nothing.
3. Steve Young drunk? Not sure on this yet, will get back to you.

1:18 - The Washington Redskins select Safety LaRon Landry. Once again, Daniel Snyder is a moron. Laron Landry is awesome, don't get me wrong. But this clearly is the "I'm picking the guy who's got the most buzz" pick, which when you recently signed Adam Archuleta to a HUGE free agent deal and already have Sean Taylor at safety, this seems pretty stupid to me. Why not trade this pick to a team who is stupidly salivating over Brady Quinn, or a team desperately looking for Adrian Peterson?

Also, not sure, but I think Brady Quinn just shed his first tear. Although the Vikings are on the clock right now with a FABULOUS QB rotation of Drew Henson, Tavaris Jackson, and Brook Bollinger.

Also also, Adrian Peterson's watch is a sight to behold. I can't even imagine how many 8 year olds in Africa had to be armed with AK 47s to make that thing.

1:27 - The Minnesota Vikings select ADRIAN PETERSON! Great pick for the Vikings. I think Adrian Peterson is going to be a phenomenonal running back. I guess there were some injury concerns there, but that broken collarbone was a freak accident, and I don't know of anyone who has ever had recurring collarbone injuries. That'd be pretty odd. I know that the Vikings have Chester Taylor, who did really well last year, and their QB situtation sucks, but here's the thing. Teams in the NFL now seem to want/need two solid RBs on their roster, and this certainly gives that to the Vikings. Also, Brady Quinn sucks. I am LOVING this. Horse faced Quinn is probably regretting those 6 turnovers he had against Michigan this past year right now. Eat shit.

1:28 - Cigarette Break.

1:38 - The Falcons select... Jamal Anderson! I thought he was retired! Does this mean the return of the dirty bird? Oh shit, he's a defensive end out of Arkansas. Not a 38 year old retired running back. And his name is spelled "Jamaal". Whatever. This better mean the return of the dirty bird. That's all of my analysis.

Other random thoughts:
- Just in... Brady Quinn... still a gay.
- Is there anything more depressing to a Giants fan than seeing "Key loss: Tiki Barber; Key addition: Reuben Droughns"? Especially knowing how happy Today Show fans are when they see "Key loss: Bryant Gumbel; Key addition: Tiki Barber" come across their screen? Sure you might have lost some team leadership, but the Today Show's overall athleticism has increased ten fold while still maintaining their Uncle Tom factor at a high level.

1:51 - HIGHEST OF HIGH COMEDY! The Dolphins select... TED GINN! Brady Quinn is seen nodding his head, clearly visibly upset again, and mouthing the words "That was a nice pick." I really can't get over how hilarious this is becoming for Brady. His girlfriend is clearly becoming antsy and wondering if it was all worth it. I don't think this is a good pick for the Dolphins, Ginn's going to be a solid slot receiver, and a great special teamer, but I don't ever see him becoming a #1 WR. Also, he's a huge bitch. See: Ohio State.

I'm praying that Brady Quinn has a Maciej Lampe-esque fall to the 2nd round at this point. I can't wait.

I'm going to say this now, because I don't think David Harris will go in the first round letting me comment on it, but I think he's going to be a GREAT linebacker in the NFL. I know I'm biased because I'm a Michigan fan, but honestly, this guy is going to be amazing. I've never seen a guy who is not only unbelievably fundamentally sound, but can make amazing plays that nobody else can. He was my favorite player on a Michigan defense that included All-Americans Leon Hall, Lamarr Woodley, AND Alan Branch (two of whom are definitely going in the first round, and one of whom could).

2:05 - Texans select Amobi Okoye. I think this kid is going to be great. First of all, you're drafting a 19 year old, so you're getting a few more years that you might not have with another draft pick. Secondly, he's a 302 lb defensive lineman who has insane athleticism and has shown no problems at all getting to the quarterback on a regular basis. I still think Alan Branch is a better DT, particularly in a conventional defense, but Okoye will be great.

Also, once again, eat shit Brady Quinn.

Brett Van Benthysen, you are on the clock.


2:18 - The 49ers select Patrick Willis from Ole Miss. Solid pick, I still think David Harris is a better inside linebacker than this guy, but he is extremely athletic, and it's hard to argue with taking a Butkus award winner. The 49ers are going to be good this year, they just need Alex Smith to not suck massively and they will be a playoff team, their defense is nasty. I hate admitting that. Brett just stepped back from the ledge.

2:25 - OK, well Michael Smith just took dumbest analyst comment of the day award early with his "A lot of people may have been overhyping Quinn just because his first name is Brady" comment. He wasn't joking either.

2:30 - The Bill select Marshawn Lynch. This seems like a good choice here, Marshawn Lynch is extremely fast, should be a solid running back. I'm surprised they didn't go with Leon Hall here though, Leon Hall was a top 10 talent according to Mel Kiper. Especially with the loss of Antoine Winfield, and with the decision to keep Willis McGahee, I'm not sure if this is the best need pick here.

2:40 - Rams select defensive end Adam Carriker from Nebraska. Whatever. Don't know or care about how good this pick is. Do know and care that Brady Quinn is crying somewhere in a janitor's closet at the Garden right now. Also, do know and care that Leon Hall might fall to the Giants at this point. I'm peeing all over the place right now in anticipation.

2:44 - MSG crowd ERUPTS as they announce that the Jets just traded up to get the 14th pick from the Panthers. Probably eyeing a cornerback at this point, namely Leon Hall. Dammit Leon Hall going to the other New York football team. Shit.

2:46 - The trade is the Jets 25th, 59th, and 164th overall picks for the Panthers 14th and 199th overall picks. Makes sense. The Jets obviously saw something they wanted. I like this move.

2:53 - The Jets picked Darrelle Revis over Leon Hall. That was stupid. Enjoy that Jets fans.

3:00 - The Steelers select Lawrence Timmons. YES! One more pick closer to the Giants selecting Leon Hall. Anthony, I will be so SALT if the Bengals get Leon Hall. Just draft Quinn, Carson needs a backup. Come onnnnnnnnn.

3:04 - Forgive the racism but...

AllmanBrosBand84 (3:01:47 PM): Has anyone made more money off shines than Drew Rosenhaus since 1865
ptrck2184 (3:04:10 PM): the catering company that runs our cafeteria?

3:06 - Did Steve Young murder Chris Mortenson's kid or something? Why is Chris Mortenson challenging him at every turn? I'm waiting for a Jim Everitt-Jim Rome-esque moment to erupt between these two right now. Guess who I'm taking in that fight.

3:07 - Suzy Kolber gets the Brady Quinn-room exclusive interview! Brady is 'trying to calm his family down.' Admits to "not anticipating falling past 9." He completely blanks when being asked what his best case scenario is at this point, and Suzy Kolber is talking about the Browns possibly picking him up in the... drum roll............. SECOND ROUND! Today, Charles Kellett is a happy, happy man.

3:10 - I just sneezed and separated my shoulder.

3:13 - Packers select Justin Harrell a DT from Tennessee? With Alan Branch still on the board? Coming off a season where he missed 10 games?! What the hell?! Well that was stupid. Whatever, bring on Leon Hall.

3:23 - Dammit, the Broncos just traded up to 17 with the Jaguars. I'm beginning to freak out. Are they looking to replaced the recently murked Darrent Williams? The three guys they just mentioned the Broncos to be after were ALL Michigan players. Alan Branch, David Harris, and you guessed it, Leon Hall.

3:27 - Broncos select Jarvis Moss. Good pick, I think he'll be very good, very Jevon Kearse-esque. Kind of upset no one from Michigan has gone yet. Not kind of upset that one of them is Leon Hall.

3:30 - Can we pelase just draft someone from Michigan, Giants? Please? Please?

3:35 - Fuck you Anthony. Leon Hall to the Bengals.

3:45 - Titans pick Texas safety Michael Griffin from Texas. Kind of an odd pick here. I was certain they would take a WR to help out Vince Young who last year had Drew Bennett and an old wooden ship as his best targets. Whatever. Bring on the Giants. I'm pulling for Alan Branch right now, the Giants need a solid interior lineman, and Alan Branch would be perfect. I am biased? Yes. Do I care? No. If we don't take Branch I'd like us to trade to a team that is masturbating over the though of Brady Quinn and get more picks so they can maybe take a CB and a T maybe within the first 40 picks of the draft.

3:58 - The Giants draft Aaron Ross, the Thrope Award winner from Texas. He's a great cornerback, but I'm having a hard time enjoying this pick knowing we could've had Leon Hall two picks before. I also think T Joe Staley and DT Alan Branch are better picks. Those type of guys won't be available in another round, Aaron Ross-type guys are. I think in another month I'll be a lot happier about this pick. Whatever. That was agonizing. I feel like I just finished having sex.

3:59 - Cigarette break.

4:04 - Jaguars select Reggie Nelson, safety from Florida. Pretty solid pick there. Their secondary is disgusting (in a good way) with this pick. I'd be afraid to play the Jaguars. Also, this is great because this was the first team in awhile that legimately could have taken Brady Quinn.

4:10 - Oh good, just switched over to the Yankees game and Jeff Kaarstens is already out of the game. What's the cause this time? Shitty pitching? Nope, getting drilled by a line drive in the knee. Fabulous. Awesome.

4:17 - And Brady Quinn is off the board! The Browns traded with the Cowboys to take him at 22 overall. Congratulations Brady, you son of a bitch. This is hilarious. Watching him have to walk from the stupid fucking private room he ran to to cry in after Miami didn't pick him up to the podium from some back hallway was truly phenomenonal. He is SO crushed.

Wow, what do you know, no highlights from the Michigan game on Brady's film-tape. Hmmm, that's odd.

Alright, that's it for me. The Quinn fiasco is sadly over, and the Giants and Jets have drafted. I'm out. One.